I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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