awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
