Whod you bang
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
