pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
