Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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