i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He has the fingertips of a God
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