you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
