sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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