Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize