If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
handjob tips. give me some.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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