She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
