He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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