Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
