Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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