You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize