I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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