I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
