apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
