she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
