Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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