Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize