either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
