actually, I'm a sock model
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
