she looked like the bat from fern gully.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
