Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
