I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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