This beer is not sobering me up at all
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
