I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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