Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
