love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
