So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
