why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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