Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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