Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
