He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
