So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
