In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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