Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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