I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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