Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
