he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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