this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
