Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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