Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The air was thick with penises
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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