Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You work out of a Hotel?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
