Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
