and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
