I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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