He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
