I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
50% drunk capacity currently
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize