and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
