what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
