I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize