You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
