Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
