So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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