Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
