don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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