Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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