no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
