he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That accounts for only three of the penises
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
