Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
