Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
