Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
