She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just google imaged poop.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need to wash the frat house off of me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
