That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
