you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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