wrigley field is MILF paradise
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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