Yo dont text me then not text me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
