Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
