Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
