I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
