How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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