He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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