You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
