there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
