i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
