ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
one two three fourrrrnication!
I think my fart just growled at me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
