so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
