I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
