I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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