Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
As shirtless as possible
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
