I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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